During times of great stress, there’s a fine line between taking an action towards healing, and one that makes you feel worse. Here are some positive actions you can take, along with corresponding actions you might want to avoid.
DO:
Maximize your appearance with a fresh haircut. This is a great time to add some extra layers when you get a trim, or maybe a few highlights to brighten up your face.
DON’T:
Change your hair drastically. This is not the time to cut your long hair short or see how you’d look as a redhead. Taking out your emotional life on your hair will only lead to decisions you may regret later.
DO:
Reconnect with old friends. Don’t feel guilty that you haven’t been in touch—everyone’s busy, and they probably feel just as bad about it. This is a great time to pick up the phone or send an email.
DON’T:
Assume you should stay home rather than risk bringing your friends down. A drink with a girlfriend gives her a chance to comfort you, which can deepen your connection. Someday you’ll feel better and have a chance to return the favor.
DO:
Use your free time to hit the gym more often. Those endorphins will give you a much-needed lift, and by the time you're ready to date again, you'll be looking and feeling your best.
DON’T:
Comfort yourself with food -- it only makes you feel worse in the long run.
DO:
Take a class in something you've always wanted to do, but never had time for. A creative outlet can really fill up those empty spaces inside.
DON’T:
Wallow around in bed feeling sorry for yourself.
DO:
Buy a new top or accessory that makes you feel confident and good about yourself.
DON’T:
Practice retail therapy. You'll be paying the bills a long time after the "high" wears off.
DO:
Give yourself a spa day. If you can afford it, get a facial, manicure and pedicure. Have your eyebrows threaded and your lip waxed. If money is an issue, do it yourself, at home. You won't believe how much better you'll feel.
DON’T:
Let yourself go. It's okay to take a day or two to relax, but if you find that time is passing and your outfit of choice is still your gray sweats, it's time to pull yourself together.
DO:
Surface redecorating, especially in the bedroom. Some soft sheets and a few throw pillows will make you feel good, and announce to the universe that you are ready for someone worthy to share them with.
DON’T:
Neglect to keep house because you're the only person who lives there. It will only isolate you and get you into the habit of keeping people out.
DO:
Take inventory of past mistakes. There's nothing worse than being condemned to keep dating guys with the same issues because we haven't worked through why we keep attracting them. Once you've identified your patterns, screen potential partners before you get attached. That way, you'll save yourself a lot of time and trouble.
DON’T:
Believe you are not in the position to be picky because you are lonely. Dating the first guy that shows interest is a sure-fire way to re-live your past. Remember, you get what you settle for.
DO:
Prepare a nice meal for yourself, and eat it at the table with a knife and fork. Use the good china, and open a bottle of wine. You're worth it.
DON’T:
Fall into the trap of self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. That hangover you wake up with tomorrow will only be one more item on your list of woes.
DO:
Remind yourself that every day you "act as if" you are a person of worth who deserves happiness and love, you are closer to becoming the best you can be.
DON’T:
Ever give up on yourself!
Karen O'Connor is a twice-married (once divorced) mother of two teens, and lives with her family and two dogs in Queens, New York. Although a life long hobby, Karen has embraced her true calling to be a writer. In addition to web articles on Bounceback.com, Karen is an avid screenwriter and blogs about the craft on her website at karenlovestv.com. She is also in the process of writing her first novel.
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Really Good Ideas
This article is so helpful for anyone who is not giving themselves the time and attention they need to take care of themselves properly. Although this article is especially helpful for someone who is going through ...